The million dollar question is... drum roll please... who am I? The topic of sexuality is so complex that I've decided to dedicate an entire section to it. I've often wondered how the rules apply. I've thought about it, obsessed over it, lost sleep over it and I have finally drawn a very simple conclusion. I am straight. And so are you. Someone once asked me how many of my clients are straight. The answer? All of them. For me, truthfully, I do not care what is between your legs. I am more concerned with how you make me feel. I am attracted to kindness. I am for all intensive purposes female. Therefore, I am not capable of being gay, that is impossible. Gay is something that requires two or more men interacting with each other. This part is simple. Male and female.

On another note, I wonder what it would mean if I was with a woman. Again, for all intensive purposes this dynamic is straight. It only gets complicated if I was with another trans girl which, I might add, brings forth qualities that would label me as a lesbian. However, that just isn't practical. A new word will have to be created in that regard. Transbian. Oh well.

My thesis in this little discussion focuses on the audacity of whoever determined there should be a "T" with the "LGB" group. Seriously? Come on, it's completely illogical. The first three letters in that acronym clearly make sense. Gay, lesbian and bisexual. Ok fine, I'm bisexual, big deal. But these labels all refer to sexuality. Now let's talk about the "T". Transgender has absolutely nothing to do with sexuality. It's all about sex. Transgender is sex. Sex as in a reference to gender, but keeing in mind that gender is variable. The founders of the "LGB" compaign have somehow included the "T" presumably to broaden the reach of their group. It's completely nonsensical. Transgender is sex not sexuality. Sex, sex, sex. There are three genders: male, female and transgender. It's really that simple. And I repeat, transgender is sex.

I'll tell you something. When I'm elected as President of the Useless Acronym Party, the first thing that I'm going to do is remove the "T" from that group. To quote Shakespeare in Hamlet, I shall stand center stage in the amphitheatre and state that "It offends me to the soul to hear a robustious periwig-pated fellow tear a passion to tatters, to very rags, to split the ears of the groundlings, who for the most part are capable of nothing but inexplicable dumb shows and noise”. To include the "T" with the "LGB" is just simply foolish. Sure, there will be many people who read these words and think otherwise. But that's okay, we are all allowed to have our own opinions. I just place more emphasis on my own opinions rather than on those of others. I have my own shoes to stand in and many of them are 120 mm stiletto heels with that beautiful red sole. Shoutout to Christian Louboutin for designing the most beautiful shoes on the planet.

In my final few words on sexuality, I say be proud of yourself no matter who you are or how you identify. As I write this, I am relaxing on a black leather sofa wearing a white lace negligee, lingerie of course, and a pair of red-bottom stiletto heels.